


For You, For You, For You

by DoreyG



Category: Lego Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Crackily Ever After, Dialogue-Only, Enemy Lovers, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 19:18:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4191816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/pseuds/DoreyG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“<i>Married</i>? The two of us, legally married, in the eyes of the law.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	For You, For You, For You

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is fic for a Lego game. Because reasons.

“You must be _joking_.”

“Apparently not.”

“ _Married_? The two of us, legally married, in the eyes of the law.”

“Apparently so.”

“ _Would you stop saying apparently_?”

“…Sorry.”

“Of course we have to get divorced, as soon as possible. I’ll call Mercy, she’ll sort something out. It’ll be quick, efficient, _painless_. And, then-“

“Lex.”

“-We can get back to our ordinary, everyday lives. I can concoct ‘evil’ schemes, you can foil them, we can both get annoyed at each other, I can attempt to kill you…”

“ _Lex_.”

“It’ll be wonderful. Perfect, even. And we can easily put this behind us, and both pretend that it never- _Mmmph_!”

“ _Mm_.”

“ _Ah_ … Wait.”

“Lex-“

“Did you just _kiss_ me?”

“Lex, think about this-“

“You just _kissed_ me.”

“Would us remaining married be that bad, really? On a cosmic scale? On even an earthly scale? _Think_ about it, what harm could it do?”

“You-“

“What _good_ could it do. Come on, Lex, this could be beneficial to both of us. I can keep an eye on you, make sure you get up to far fewer evil schemes. I can get easy access to your plans, understand your thought processes better, bring out the good that I _know_ is in you-“

“…You’re actually thinking about this.”

“And it’s good for you too! I mean, speaking as myself I’d be far less likely to arrest my legal husband. And far less likely to bring the rest of the Justice League down on you too. I could protect you, give you a bit of space without superheroes springing on you every five seconds, supervillains following you around like puppies to try and gain a bit of your magic… You’ve always said how useful it’d be to have Superman on your side.”

“ _Actually_ -“

“How useful it’d be to have Superman stop meddling in your business…”

“…”

“Lex?”

“…That is true.”

“Exactly-!”

“But how can I trust you? How can I _know_ that you’re not just setting me up for an elaborate fall – that I’m not going to wake up in the morning, stroll into the living room and find myself swiftly arrested before I’ve even had a cup of coffee?”

“Well… How can I trust you not to stab me in the back with Kryptonite in the middle of the night? After a long day when I’m weak and tired and unable to defend myself?”

“…Touché.”

“Hah!”

“But that still doesn’t mean I _agree_ to this insanity. You’re a superhero – I am, to all intents and purposes, a super _villain_. It’s ludicrous. It’d be like if Batman married the Joker, if Wonder Woman ran off with that Cheetah girl who keeps trailing after her like a passive-aggressive puppy. It just won’t _work_ , it’s _impossible_.”

“It could work-“

“It couldn’t.”

“It might be possible-“

“It _won’t_.”

“We could kiss a bit more, and then you could make a properly informed decision after that?”

“…”

“A properly informed, extremely scientific decision that even Mercy would approve of?”

“…You drive a hard bargain, Superman.”

“Hah-! _Mmmph_.”


End file.
